


Night Wonders

by SgtPepper007



Series: EXO Oneshots [5]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Idols, Music, Psychological, Walks In The Park, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 02:23:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20250613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SgtPepper007/pseuds/SgtPepper007
Summary: Chanyeol is exhausted and working on potential solo songs in his studio, but he can't seem to do anything right. It's already far passsed midnight and he decides to walk outside, drowned in his thoughts and wonders.





	Night Wonders

**Author's Note:**

> This oneshot wasn't beta-ed. I apologise for the mistakes.

Chanyeol threw his headphones a little bit too brusquely on his keyboard and rested his head on the back of his chair. He ruffled his hair for the hundredth time that night and let another curse past his lips. He was seriously losing his patience and his cups of coffee weren’t doing their usual wonders either. Looking at the screen in front of him again, he groaned in frustration and turned around on his moving chair. It was making him dizzy but he couldn’t care less at that moment. 

It was the fourth time. The fourth time that his song was refused by the head of the entertainment company.

He had been working on that song for months and already modified so many things in order for it to be approved by the higher ups, but all his efforts were always in vain. No matter how many changes he did on his program, how many times he changed the beats of the song as well as the melody of the verses, which was an element he had been criticized on too often already, and no matter how much he analysed each sounds he used on the instrumental to understand what was wrong and to locate the missing piece; he always failed. At this point, he was starting to seriously question his music knowledge as well as his talent as a composer.

He was actually very happy of the final result of his song. He really was. Until the main producer of the company told him “it sounds empty”, “the melody is flat” and “there is something wrong with the bass, I think you should try something else because it doesn’t match with the mood of the song. It sounds like an amateur did the whole instrumental in itself”. But the worst comment he had been told was that his lyrics weren’t interesting enough. That hit him hard and at the wrong place. He poured all his feelings into his lyrics; he wanted to address this topic he held dear in his heart and to reveal his inner thoughts through the song. But it felt like he was just being judged for even thinking about it, for wanting to do it in the first place.

He might have taken those comments too personally but he couldn’t help it: he took it as a direct attack towards him as not only an artist, but also as a person, as a human being who has emotions and simply want to express himself through music, his own music. The company always composed the songs for the group, so being able to create his own sound, his own colours and his own musical content was the only thing in which he felt the slightest sense of freedom. But it was continuously crushed.

And it wasn’t like it was the first time it happened; it was already the twelfth song he showed to the music producers of the company and none of the previous ones made it. He did help in writing lyrics for the group, and he was proud of it, but his solo projects were on another level. It wasn’t about his fellow members anymore, but rather him as an individual. And it hurt way more.

When Chanyeol stopped spinning his chair, he sighed and looked at the computer screen that was too bright for his dimmed lighted studio. His sleepy eyes were assaulted by the light of it. He took his coffee mug in his hands only to notice that it was empty.

Great. Now he was really in a bad mood.

He looked at the screen again, his eyes adapting to the brightness, and he saw the music program displayed on it; he could see the countless tracks he created and pressed the button to make it play from the start. While the tracks were passing by, making the sounds play loudly in his speakers, he was more and more discouraged.

What was so wrong with his song? He couldn’t pinpoint it and it infuriated him even more. How many times did he listen to the recording that night? Twenty? Fourty? Sixty?

Chanyeol was feeling a headache coming so he finally decided to stop the recording and he quickly got up from his chair. His muscles were completely sore, the result of spending hours sitting unhealthily on a chair and not getting up aside from filling his mug. He stretched his arms, legs and neck while trying to steady his breathing and exited his studio. Soon enough, he was outside the building, buried under his black hoodie, his grey loose pants as well as his black cap. The early morning air was bad, the pollution thicker than usual. Chanyeol coughed a little bit, adjusting to the cold autumn air as well as the breeze that was freezing his body. He lifted the mask he was hidden under his chin and started to walk aimlessly in the neighbouring streets of the building.

While Seoul is a city that never sleeps, the surrounding streets were calm. It was four in the morning, so it was a given. The more he walked, the more he felt like shit. The only reason he left the studio was because he couldn’t stand being locked up there any longer. He needed a change of atmosphere and what was better than going outside to change his mood? That was the only thing he could do anyway. However, it wasn’t working so far.

As he was strolling around, he reached a convenience store that was still opened. He entered the place, looking for shelter from the cold weather. He was also in need of a hot drink. When he went to the counter where all types of food were available to be cooked in the store, he spotted the coffee machine and proceeded to turn it on until he saw the tea bags next to it. He wasn’t a huge amateur of this drink, but it was somehow appealing to him. After debating for a few minutes as to which flavour he would go for, he opted for the chamomile. He put some boiling water in a plastic cup as well as a bag of the chosen tea. He then went to the cashier and paid for it. Instead of drinking it outside, he stayed in the convenience store and slowly sipped his hot drink while sitting in front of the huge windows that offered a great view to the park in front of it.

Now that his body was getting warmer, he could feel his exhaustion possessing his whole body and mind. His schedule with the group was especially intense for the past month. They had concerts after concerts and they were also preparing a new album. The fans were pressuring them about not having any comeback for a year and their impatience was making the members uncomfortable. A lot of them had their solo projects, including Chanyeol with his song that was a huge flop, and each of them were already reaching their limits because of their individual schedules. The fans’ pressure was driving them crazy.

While they were as avid as them to release new songs, recording it was a harsh and long process; they were going for a new musical direction and their standards of performance were higher than their last albums. They couldn’t rush it, but the constant messages about possible release dates and unimaginable theories were taking a toll on them. They knew that the fans meant no harm by doing this, but they felt like they had to deliver something as fast as possible. But there was no way that they would release an half assed album just in order to ease the fans’ hunger for new content; they took their music to heart and they wanted nothing else than perfection. All these circumstances were killing Chanyeol’s mood and stealing all his energy.

He was so tired.

When would he be able to breathe?

The convenience store was empty as he was drinking his chamomile tea. Every single sip relaxed his tensed muscles and made his eyelids heavier. The hot air as well as the smell emanating from his cup comforted him. He had a lot in his mind. He couldn’t shut his thoughts out, but at least the hot liquid filling his body was relaxing. He took deep breaths, trying to focus his energy on something else than anything related to the building close by. At that moment, the man wished for only one thing; to have a good and long night of sleep. But not just some ordinary sleep; one that would be completely refreshing and that would make him feel energized as soon as he would open his eyes. Unfortunately, that wasn’t possible. He had to wake up at seven in order to shoot the group’s music video as well as spending every bits of his “free” time by practicing for their recording session that would take place as soon as the shoot would be done. He would probably be able to go to bed at around three in the morning, even later if he would take some hours to fix his supposedly horrible song. Coffee was his best friend during those times. He couldn’t even remember the last time he slept for more than four hours straight. It wouldn’t happen so soon for sure.

Noticing that his attempt at relaxing was going nowhere since his thoughts were naturally drifting to his worries, he sighed and finished his cup of tea. As he was throwing the empty plastic cup in the garbage, his eyes were focused on the park at the front of the store. Nobody seemed to be there. It had been a while since he was able to walk in a park in peace. 

Bracing himself to face the cold weather, which hit him as soon as he opened the door, he headed to the area filled with trees and walked on an empty path. It was quiet, only the sounds of his footsteps breaking the many fallen leaves resonating in his surroundings. The trees were all deprived of vegetation, the slim branches covered in frost. The walk was far from being pleasant; Chanyeol never liked cold weather and he was far from being clothed enough to be walking at such an early hour. He sneezed loudly, his hands hidden as much as possible in his pockets. It was clearly a bad idea to go outside at the start of November. It would be the worst timing to get a cold. He had to take care of his voice as much as possible so he could give the best results in their recordings. Not only he couldn’t delay their schedule any longer, but it would also make the chairman unhappy, as well as the fans that were impatiently waiting for their album to be revealed. He pictured himself in an interview, explaining to the fans that they waited even more because he was in a bad mood and stupidly took a walk outside to improve it while it was freezing, which ended as a useless decision since it made him sick and didn’t do any good in the end. He mentally slapped himself for his genius idea when he sneezed again.

Not wanting to make it even worse for the members and the fans, he headed towards SM Entertainment’s building and exited the park, as depressed as he was when he left it. As he was getting closer to it, he heard a man who seemed quite drunk whistling a melody that wasn’t familiar. Chanyeol instinctively sang it lowly to himself while entering the building. When he reached his studio, he sat on his chair and hummed the melody again, making some variations and twisting a few notes here and there. It wasn’t that bad. With the melody in his mind, he recorded himself humming it and tested it. It was actually quite good and catchy. He could definitely work with that. But the instrumental didn’t suit it.

With a new idea blooming, he opened a new folder and started from scratch; he put the track of his humming and created a basic rhythm to support it. His eyes were constantly fighting against him, a battle that was intensified because of his earlier drinking session, but he had to do it now. He couldn’t go to sleep when an idea was flowing. There was no way he would waste this precious inspiration. He was used to sleepless nights; another one wouldn’t do any harm.

He got up to fill another cup of coffee only to bring it next to his computer. He would need it. 

As he sat down, he stretched his stiff knuckles because of the cold, making them crack at the same occasion, and proceeded to continue working on his music program. “Alright. Let’s do it.”


End file.
